the twelve days of… the wild rose herbal d-tox cleanse

My 2015 holiday eating lasted well into 2016 and I decided it was high time to hit the reset button. A friend highly recommended trying out the Wild Rose Herbal Detox cleanse; I read up a little bit and decided to go for it. I also decided it was time to take a wee break from social media, so I figured why not just cut that out too? And thus began 12 days of no sugar, gluten, dairy, booze, fermented foods, tropical fruits, mushrooms or… social media.

Here’s how it went:

NIGHT BEFORE: I made the most of my last night of food freedom at a big family birthday dinner… fresh pasta with pesto and bolognese sauce (and loads of Parmesan cheese), garlic bread, caesar salad  and amaaaaazing chocolate cake. I may or may not have had seconds of everything.

DAY 1: Day one of cleanse turns out to coincide with day one of my period. FUN. Don’t really crave stuff I can’t eat, but don’t think I’m eating enough. Feeling hungry later in the day, so it seemed like a good idea to make eggs before going to a two hour yoga workshop.

DAY 2: I miss the maple syrup in my overnight oats :( but I’m going to the spa for the entire afternoon so I’m in no position to complain today.

DAY 3: Back at work and bragging about feeling totally normal, but eating my words by mid-day. My head feels a bit bleh – not a headache really, but sort of?  After work I come home to my sister baking fresh bread, which is basically torture. But I manage to not eat any… YAY for me! Ate a baked sweet potato with two eggs and garlic chives – actually very yummy.

DAY 4: I miss bread. Also, I wish I wasn’t doing this no social media thing so I could snap chat about missing bread and make everyone suffer with me.

DAY 5: BAD from the get go. Downloaded and logged into Instagram to make a customer service complaint (seriously –  is this the only way to get anything done these days?). That worked out, after loads of frustration. Rushed out the door after eating a couple of eggs for breakfast (thank you sister!) and totally forgot to take my morning supplements.

DAY 6: Confession – I ate half of a cookie last night. OK, three quarters. It was a peanut butter cookie filled with Nutella. I regret nothing. ALSO, I have so many photos I wanna post on Instagram right now.

DAY 7: Hollandaise sauce is cleanse friendly – I’M SERIOUS. Egg yolks, butter (it’s allowed), lemon juice and cayenne pepper. This with some eggs and salad at breakfast feels like a victory. Fresh pressed green juice is a perfect midday pick me up.  My best cleanse meal yet is at a vegan place for dinner – soft shell tacos with guacamole and some sort of meat replacement made from cashews. Actually so delicious. It’s Saturday night, I’m going to a theater thing with food and wine pairings. No wine (or most of the food) for me! And later on I opt for water at a house party (I’m serious).

DAY 8: Worst day yet. Everybody is eating cheese and spiced pretzel bites RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and it’s driving me insaaaane. It’s rice crackers and almond butter for me. I feel a massive headache coming on, so my mom to picks up more vegan tacos for me (what a gem). Food doesn’t come soon enough, headache is major. Advil helps. I really need to do some grocery shopping / meal prep.

DAY 9: YUMMY breakfast – oats and fruit.  I still miss the maple syrup. AND I REALLY WANT TO POST THINGS ON INSTAGRAM. WAHHH. Three more days to go.

DAY 10: I’m FOOD BORED. Hard boiled eggs are currently my best protein friend. I miss Sriratcha. And sugar. But I feel WAY better, less bloated, etc. However, the burger I had for dinner (on a lettuce bun…) was not terribly satisfying. (and I swear, Instagram is calling my name… I can hear it…….)

DAY 11: SO TEMPTED TO JUST BE DONE, two days early. It’s been 10 days! That’s an accomplishment, right!? BUT why give up now? Sticking with it for today and tomorrow, the cleanse and no social media, solely on principle.

DAY 12: Someone brought Tim Bits to work and it’s taking everything in me to not eat one (and by one, I obviously mean five).

THE DAY AFTER: I feel way better. Less bloated and bleh, less lethargic and less distracted! I’ve been eating WAY better and will continue to (I had oats and fruit for breakfast this morning even though I’m allowed other food again). My social media break has me feeling much less distracted. I’ve been listening to podcasts again and reading more frequently; I’m more focused at work and getting more done in the mornings before work too :) All in all, mission accomplished!

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